Our Story
Hey stranger,
Before sharing a scenario about those around you, the origins of STRANGERS NO MORE are borne from our founders' own story. In getting to know me, maybe you'll resonate and perhaps find my story helpful for your own. Looking after our mental health is just so, so important...
My Stranger Story
Some relationships lead to marriage; others, to heartbreak. Despite all my hope and efforts for the first of these, my stranger story became the latter.
But first, my stranger story began prior to this, in which as a 30 something year old guy, I will admit I had several years of hard mental health issues, and in it, some regrettable actions. They had their solid foundations for forming, a combination of family relationships, Brexit (long story...), COVID, isolation and loneliness, amongst other things, and as present as they once were, as firmly in my past they now proudly are. Let's just say I only wish I was once proactive in considering PANDAS, MIND or Samaritans.
- - -
Some time later I met a girl and whilst I’ve plenty of *really good* things happening in my life, least mention my career and creative pursuits, this evolved into her becoming my main consideration, the only person I ever (thus far) saw my entire future with. She became my safe place, my best friend, rock and home, my everything (and family) that I endeavored in a couple of particular things in trying to provide my very best for, the only person who I wanted to be with every evening after work, every weekend that passed by, and together in every social moment. Everything. I've many cherished memories of what once was, and I hope that she is doing okay since we last spoke - :)
There will never ever by any desire, need or value to publicly share details of our relationship due to all my respect for the person that she once was and everything we previously had together. Whilst a number of those closest to us do know some aspects, any relationship’s day-to-day and deepest storyline is known only by its two people, person A and person B. The heartbreak was hard enough, for both of us, and it's finer details will always remain between us - :)
Pertinent to here, despite my above mentioned future hope and sentiments, it was but my historic mental health period that overlapped with the beginning of our relationship for around half a year, and ultimately, it was this that determined our separation some years later. Sure, amongst all our goodness we both made various mistakes along the way through the years, we both know that, and it was those I received through our concluding few months that made even continuing as friends inappropriate. Disappointing, and with that, it was all but one sad conclusion to what was once the centre of a multi-facetted venn diagram relationship - :(
Sometimes relationships need to break so that they can find their way back together. For this it requires both to learn, hold themselves accountable for their contribution to issues, and personal growth; next, transparent and honest communication, and then maybe, only then could a second chance be experienced, this time stronger and more trustworthy. For us, I'm really, really not so sure - :(
- - -
...But, it's okay, all's okay. Today I am proud to have loved, tried my best, never gave up and lost rather than never having had the opportunity to love her at all. I've no hard feelings towards her decision of pursuing independence and all the additional responsibility that comes with that. I do reflect that I wish our conclusion was able to be resolved so differently, and like the foundations of STRANGERS NO MORE, maybe this could've been so with more open conversation, greater listening and understanding, and by some possibility, acceptance. At least for my contribution, she knows how sorry I was for what was once the historic 'me'.
On the one hand I’ve a heartbroken stranger story, whilst on the other, a deeper-rooted historic mental health one; in both, I've become the resilient person, strong character and happy get-go personality I am today. Heya, hi hi! I've only such a fantastic support network around me and they each knew how spectacularly out of character the mental health issue period was, especially in context of my full life beforehand and ever since. Given I unexpectedly had this period, it just goes to show just how important looking after our mental health *really* is, and the significance of looking out for one another - be curious, take interest, learn more, talk deeply, be forever kind.
By talking we reach better understanding.
Strangers Stories, Part 1
In wanting to make positive from its negativity, STRANGERS NO MORE took form due to my healing process. On moving house across the city, in reflecting and focusing on myself, the most wonderful things then began to happen. Whilst all my existing friends would describe me (amongst many things) as an ambivert (both introverted and extroverted), I am happy and confident enough to talk to anyone in a social situation, and where I once leaned on this girl for absolute best friendship, my social life certainly shifted and evolved further.
Not limited to but as well as joining a new social running club and sports centre / gym, taking part in a photography course and cooking class, as well as chatting to tens of new faces within just a few weeks, I also re-ignited old friendships that, I will admit, were cast as second priority during this relationship. They know who they are. Whilst everyone's support was absolutely unbelievable and valued, it was actually the outcome of conversations with many strangers that came most unexpectedly.
I unfortunately hadn't kept count of the number of strangers I had conversations with, but it was a lovely number of new people within the same few weeks. It is to these, and to all further strangers I've since met, who STRANGERS NO MORE is dedicated to.
In talking to all these strangers I was honored to hear them opening up about their own experiences and life events, and in going with the flow of the conversation and sharing advice with one another, what sometimes began as a small comment by someone sat opposite me across a pub table later became a deep, two-way conversation that lasted much of the night - special. Having met a number of these strangers more times after, and with a few actually evolving into now friends that I've frequently socialised with since, no matter what any of us - you - may be experiencing in life, it's just so, so helpful to chat with someone. I know many of these strangers have very much appreciated my reciprocations too, with many hugs, nods and smiles being shared in the most lovely of small moments.
Sure, I've travelled, a career, loved hard, but; I've equally lost harder, been better, been worse, and ultimately through all of life's highs and lows, I've stories. My story.
...But, it's okay, all's okay. Life is now better.
Indeed, STRANGERS NO MORE is actually about you and others, not me. Whether you're experiencing heartbreak, bereavement, something mental health related or anything else, in talking to strangers you open yourself to different perspectives, especially given they initially don't know anything about you - you may feel their advice the most.
By talking we reach better understanding.
Strangers Stories, Part 2
Let's suppose for a moment the scenario of you being at your local gym, but this could apply to anywhere you visit:
- Have you perhaps been going lately and wondered why one particular guy is always so friendly to others? Yeah, he's also going through depression;
- There's also someone who has been coming a lot more frequently of late. Yeah, he just lost his job and is using the gym to manage his sense of hopelessness;
- That guy who you've developed a crush on, perhaps you're wondering whether you should one day go speak to him? Yeah, he's new to town and is secretly feeling isolated with limited local friends;
- How about that lady who used to always join your class but is no longer half as consistent. Yup, she's up most nights with her newborn;
- Or, did you spot the young guy who's just joined and is making his best efforts on equipment he's very new at trying. That's right, he's getting bullied for being 'out of shape'.
Every stranger has their story.
Alongside all our provided helpful quick links on mental health support and information resources, we hope you may spread the word about STRANGERS NO MORE, and you'll both don and cherish your favourite new clothing item(s) to spread your love and support for one another. Your community.
Be kind, always be kind. You're doing great, you're absolutely more than enough and don't let anyone try to put you down and make you feel otherwise - trust me. Life can be so, so beautiful, there's so much we can achieve by supporting one another, and if you're going through something, I only hope that you don't feel like you have to face it alone, you'll always have the option of strangers.
Upon chatting, you're strangers no more.